True Responsibility, Prerequisites to Spiritual Growth,
Requisites for rapid consistent Spiritual Growth, and Priorities.
“The best way to avoid responsibility, is to say ‘I
have responsibilities’” – Richard Bach
Whether or not you believe in reincarnation, you can see
that during a lifetime, some people serve darkness/evil, some degenerate
spiritually, some people remain stagnant, some people grow spiritually.
Those who do believe in reincarnation can
understand how variations of the above can go on lifetime after lifetime
– making two steps forward, one step back, or one step forward, two steps
back, etc.. Amongst those who do make progress in spiritual growth, it is
usually slowly – over lifetimes. Every
once in a while, someone decides to really “go for it”, and take a “fast
track” to spiritual growth. Some
make good progress, some slip and fall, some (the fewest), make it all the way
“home” (to the Universal Spirit).
For those who have decided to take the fast track, there
are prerequisites. It is the same
for any true spiritual path. Because
ultimately, all true paths lead to the same destination.
Just as in school, there are classes that are prerequisites
to taking more advanced classes, life has its prerequisites also.
Most importantly, so does spiritual growth.
What are the prerequisites?
Things like being flowing, humble, willing to do anything it takes to
transcend self and return to Oneness with and serving the Universal Spirit.
Here are a few specifics:
Dave’s Top Ten List of Spiritual Growth Prerequisites:
(OK, there's not ten - but I'm not Dave either)
1 - Humility
2 - Wanting criticism
3 - Being flowing
4 - Taking responsibility
5 - Mastering your "Earthly physical affairs"
List of Requisites for Deliberate Consistent Spiritual
Growth:
1 – Soliciting criticism
2 – Accepting the criticism you get, positively.
3 – Applying the criticism – using it to change and grow
4 – Placing your attention on others instead of SELF
5 - Giving. Switching from the
self-centered polarity of wanting and taking, to the Spirit centered polarity of
giving, self-sacrifice, and flowing.
6 - Self discipline
7 - Dedication
8 - Devotion
9 - Unswerving, rock solid commitment
10 - Using a teacher
HUMILITY & CRITICISM
First let me qualify what I mean by criticism. We're
primarily talking about getting criticism from those who want to help you change
and grow. Those with a negative/selfish agenda, do NOT have that goal.
Sure, you can learn from anyone - IF they really have something valid to offer
you. But when someone is really against your path or your spiritual
growth, what will they be offering you?
We recently had a reader who asked for criticism from those he knew
were antagonistic towards his spiritual growth, and the path it would lead him
on. They thought he was crazy and irresponsible for being into the teachings, and wanted
to dissuade him from his chosen path. Of course, they'd already made their
views known, and criticized him from their negative point of view. That's not
what we're talking about here. In fact, that is a self-trick. The
self is hoping that they WILL dissuade him, so it can retain dominance and
control. I'm not saying a person should ignore criticism from anyone
(other than someone you know has nothing by negative intent and negative input)
- most people should be allowed their opinion in case there is something valid
there for your spiritual growth. But when you know it's from someone with
a negative agenda, "where they are coming from" needs to be taken into
consideration. Plus you don't need to "solicit" such criticism,
they will try and force their opinion onto you. And as I have often said
to those who would criticize my choice of my spiritual path, or other aspects of
my life which are part of or reflections of that, "I welcome your opinion,
but only ONE time, anything beyond that is nagging, being overbearing, and
trying to force your beliefs and opinions onto me." And I will walk
out on anyone who doesn't respect my choices, and nags me with their opinions.
If you indulge such people, you are not just wasting your time, you are buying
into their ploy and draining your energy and thoughts into their "black
hole", which is partly what they want - at least it is "a
beginning" for their ploy, and gives them hope that they can confuse and
ensnare you. And your selfish separate SELF is more than happy to oblige.
As soon as it becomes clear that anyone trying to
persuade you, has a negative agenda, they shouldn't be listened to. Giving
energy to them is just what they want. And "feeding" them by
entertaining their "opinion", is nurturing them, nurturing
darkness. It harms them as well as you. That is not being
"compassionate", that is not being kind, or unselfishly loving. It's
like the beggar story in the book again - if you give to someone who might use
your gift for drugs, and ends up killing someone during a robbery, or harming
themselves, is that being kind and unselfishly loving? NO. And if they
"take you in" and get you to listen to them, and make yourself vulnerable
to them, is that being unselfishly loving? NO.
Now, more about true constructive criticism.
Criticism is like someone holding a mirror in front of you.
It can show you yourself – what is really there as opposed to what you
like to think of yourself as. If
you don’t like what you see, you may hate the mirror/mirror holder. If you like what you see, you will like them.
If you don’t like what you see, but wanted to see it anyway so you
could change yourself, you won’t hate or be angry with the mirror or mirror
holder. If you lack humility, you
will avoid the mirror, or be in denial of what you see (often goes along with
being angry at the mirror, hating the mirror, or being angry or hating the
person holding the mirror). But the mirror can be a great tool! In fact, it is THE greatest tool for change, and you should
be grateful for it, and those holding it up to you. If you are willing to see a flaw, a blackhead, etc.., you can
use the mirror to help yourself "fix yourself up" - i.e., correct
yourself. In that sense, criticism
can be likened to a sculptor's chisel that someone is handing you - you
can use to sculpt your being into what you want it to be, and keep sculpting
until perfection (or as close as you can get).
Unfortunately, most people throw the chisel at the person holding the
mirror!
Humility is the attitude it takes to really want, take, and
apply criticism. It is what someone
feels, and how someone acts, who has truly realized that their SELF is their own
worst enemy, that they are the problem, that they need to change, that they
really want to change, that they need a mirror, want a mirror, and will use a
chisel if given the opportunity. It
is truly realizing that you know nothing (or at least very little). It is
“being an empty cup”, in order that you may be filled (a full cup cannot be
filled). It is “becoming like a
little child” in a sense.
Unfortunately, many of those who start a spiritual path, or
toy with one, think they have humility or realization of knowing little and
needing to learn and grow. They
may say they have it, or they say they don't. They may even ask for
criticism. But the first time the
mirror shows them their flaws, they do some or all of the following – they
deny, they resist, they fight it, they defend, they run, condemn the mirror or
the holder, and refuse to use the chisel, often throwing it at the mirror/holder
in anger, telling them they need to chisel themselves instead.
Even students who have dedicated their lives to sacrificing
themselves for spiritual growth and caring for others, do this to some extent.
I have long observed my novice students doing this during special
meetings that are specifically for giving and taking constructive criticism.
When something is brought up to one student about a trait, or incident,
in which they are flawed, or behaved in a flawed manner, they often instantly
get defensive, without even thinking about it, and make themselves
“confused” about the issue. They
“bullshit” and beat around the bush about it.
They find it painful, and are “hurt”.
They eventually work through this of course, see their flaws, apologize,
do an affirmation to confirm their positive commitment, and every once in a
while, change. But while the
student "under fire" is being defensive and confused, the matter is
perfectly clear and obvious to all the other students in the meeting.
But when it becomes their turn, the exact same thing happens.
As with
the next turn, and the
next... And these are people who
have totally dedicated themselves, made a commitment, and are under the guidance
of a loving elder or teacher. So
for those who aren’t, it is very difficult.
As mentioned in the teachings, the only totally clear,
unselfishly loving, unbiased criticism is going to come from true
teachers. Of course, that is also the biggest threat, and most painful to
the self, and self-ego. It is after
all, essentially the words of God attacking the walls of separation. Those
who give criticism from an unselfishly loving place, don't like getting a
negative response, but they care more about you than they do having to deal with
your anger, negativity and hatred. So they deliver the truth, sometimes
without any sugar coating, and sometimes intensely (depending on the blockage
and resistance that exists towards accepting the truth).
Which brings us to our next issue - kindness and
compassion. Most people have no idea what it’s like to get their
self-ego “busted”, until it happens the first time.
They swear they understand, swear they know what it’s like, but they
don’t. It happens every time.
And the first time someone does get the painful burning truth brought up
to them, is the first time you see how they are going to react.
What they really expect kindness and compassion to be, is
someone being "nice" to them, soothing and coddling. But until
selflessness is achieved, people are ruled by, and think they ARE, their selfish
separate selves. But they don't see it that way. So what they expect
is for an enlightened, or kind, or compassionate person to be nice, coddling,
soothing, and in agreement with, their SELF. And if and when that doesn't
happen, and instead, they get the truth and criticism that come from unselfishly
loving beings, they point their finger at the mirror/mirror holder, accuse them
of being unkind, uncompassionate, not spiritual, not of the light, and throw the
chisel at them.
On the ill fated free access discussion board, we
“lost” two people who became angry and hostile after getting mild criticism
that they’d asked me to give them. They
had no idea it would be so painful, and instead of seeing the truth, they did
the typical pattern of turning the tables and blaming the criticism giver,
claiming I had the exact negative qualities they had within themselves. What
were they seeing? Themselves.
Quite some time ago, I realized that the “Lost Teachings
of Atlantis” book has very few examples of the harsh, intense self-ego busting
I got from my teachers, and other students and elders. It
clearly infers it, but since it no longer bothers me, it doesn’t come across
how intense and how painful it was at the time, and I didn't focus on writing
about those interactions. I wrote mostly about the "situations" I was placed in, that
I got negative about. Perhaps I’ll have opportunity to change that sometime in
the future. But believe me, I had
very negative responses and avoided seeing the truth about myself until I “got” humility.
I was defensive, was in denial of the truth of what was being brought up
about me, and blamed others for being unloving, uncompassionate, untrue, etc..
And the thing is, with a teacher, kind of like life itself, if you don’t
listen the first time, and learn your lesson when it’s being presented mildly,
you will have to learn it the harsh way, or the hard way (rejecting it
and then later getting it through the school of hard knocks - life. And that
wastes a lot of time, even if you DO eventually learn.
In the case of a teacher, the more defensive you are, the more of a wall
you put up to block the truth and light, the more the volume turns up on the
intensity in an effort to break down the block.
This isn’t a conscious deliberate thing the teacher does, it's just part of the flow of God
working through enlightened beings. In
dealing with advanced stages of defensiveness, a teachers yelling can bring down
the walls of Jericho. But of
course, that’s what a student is there for, at least, according to what they
say they want. Why do you think I
was scared of Zain until I got humility and really started wanting to change? I
was being yelled at frequently, ruthlessly criticized and humiliated. Then
when I changed, "he changed". But was it really him that changed
at all? No. Just me.
Humiliation. An
awful word isn’t it? One with a
terrible negative connotation. Humility,
nice connotation, smiley faces. Humiliation, bad connotation, "frowney faces".
But what’s the diff? Notice
the strong similarity in the words? Well,
humiliation is what happens when you aren’t humble, but are forced into a
situation that breaks down your self-ego. Sort
of (but not quite), forced humility. It
all depends on your perspective. Whether
or not you are positive or negative, and whether or not you are wanting to be
humble – for real. How can you
“humiliate” someone who is humble? Call
them a _____! No, seriously. You can’t humiliate someone who is humble. You can’t
offend or humiliate someone who has transcended SELF.
You may illicit a very intense response (for you), but they simply
don’t care anymore about defending their self – because that’s not what
they are anymore, that’s “where they come from” or how they live anymore.
So there is nothing to defend. They
are a fool for God. But it is
ooohhhh so easy to “push buttons” on those who think highly of themselves,
and want to avoid the truth, the light, selflessness.
Take the example of Jesus getting intensely righteously
indignant (an enlightened, loving, compassionate being's version of anger), in
response to the money changers in the Temple. He actually got
physical. Now, should we say that Jesus was unloving, uncompassionate, and
not of God because of that? Or realize he was that way all the time in the
face of selfishness, defensiveness, etc.. As is the Universal
Spirit. But how do you think the money changers felt? They were
totally humiliated, let alone thrashed, both self-ego wise, and
physically. I'm sure they thought, felt, and accused Jesus of being
unkind, don't you? You are no different, and that's the way it feels to
finally really get your self-ego busted. It is after all, an attack on the
selfish separate self, and until you get beyond it, that's who and what you feel
and think you are - so you feel like you are being unjustly and wrongly
attacked, and defend your self. Unless you've at least achieved the level
of humility it takes to want it, take it, see it, and use it. And you have
the commitment to see your self through times of extreme struggle with your
self.
FLOWING
Here are a few things I hear sometimes, that are examples
of being unflowing and “stuck” in a self chosen life.
First, people often say they don’t have time for
meditation because they don’t have the luxury of living at a monastery,
and/or, have jobs and a family that take up so much of their time, that they
have no time left. Bull, to number
one and two. I worked harder and
longer hours than ANY of you with jobs and families, and still had to do my
meditations. That’s typical of
our monastic lifestyle. I made
time. So can you. It’s
a matter or priorities, not time. All
my students work harder and longer than anyone else, even you.
I have lived in Hawaii a number of times, and during those
periods, I’d constantly meet people on vacation who said, “You’re so lucky
to be able to live here”. It
always amazed me, because it wasn’t a matter of luck at all, just choice, and
in my case, also Universal will. So
I’d say, “You can live here too, but…shhhh,
here’s the secret… you
can’t live here unless… you
move here.”, and they’d often get a puzzled look.
We hear from many people who want to do Golden Rule
meetings/start GR groups in their area, but no one else lives near enough them
to get something going. Even with a
thousand people who’d like to do it, spread out across this big country of 300
million, still makes poor odds that any two are living in the same area.
So on the old free access discussion board, I suggested that some people
might want to consider moving to the same area, so there would be others of like
mind to associate with. I suggested the “front range” of Colorado (Ft. Collins,
Longmont, Boulder, Denver, CO springs, etc.), being a relatively central and
decent place to live, booming job market, housing etc..
I figured that if maybe at least a dozen or two people would choose to do
something like that, it would make for a decent support group.
Some are considering it. But
others react like it’s impossible, and protest that they have families and
jobs, etc., and just can’t pick up and move. It’s funny, because on the news
the CO governor was giving an ultimatum to counties to come up with a controlled
growth program, or else. Why?
Because so many people move to CO because of a great job market,
better education, beauty, climate, less crime, whatever. Millions of people move
to other states each year for reasons like that, but when it comes to moving for
spiritual growth? Well, again,
it’s a matter of priorities, and people putting their actions/money were their
mouth is. No one CAN’T move (unless they’re prisoners), how difficult is
another issue, and again, a matter of priorities.
THE STORY OF THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN (I MEAN THE HANDLESS
MONK)
This is the story of the beginnings of the famous Shaolin
order of monks (made famous by the great spiritual TV show “Kung Fu” – the
original, not the spiritually lacking “Kung Fu, the legend continues”).
It’s a story about the kind of dedication and commitment that is a
prerequisite to true spiritual growth.
Long ago, a student of Buddha, who had since become a true
teacher, visited the capital of China. He
was famous, had developed a great new martial art, and both the royal
politicians and the Buddhist monasteries wanted his blessings, teachings, and
martial arts instruction. They gave
him the red carpet treatment, and showed him all the Temples and shrines
they’d built to honor Buddha. Then
he was asked what he thought of their impressive projects. He was appalled, and told them the buildings were
abominations, reflections of their lack of “getting it”.
He said Buddha didn’t want to be worshipped, he wanted people to
change, to find freedom, compassion, enlightenment, etc.. Buddha, as did this monk/teacher, wanted people to live and
learn from the teachings, not idolize them.
Thus, he went to a cave in the mountains, and refused to teach until he
found a worthy student. Monks would
come frequently, asking him to be their teacher, but he would send them away,
telling them they didn’t have what it took to learn. One day, a monk went to see the teacher, and cut off his hand
in a gesture of self sacrifice, discipline, and commitment.
This person he took as his student, and that student became the first
Shaolin monk and master. Now, that story is to make a point, don’t anyone go doing
stupid mutilations to their body in an attempt to make themselves humble or to
demonstrate they are student material. That
was for that one man, that time, that place, and that situation.
But humility is humility. There are many ways it shows when you have it,
as well as with dedication, discipline and commitment. There are indications
that you have realized you “know nothing” and have become an empty
cup, and there are indications that you are dedicated and committed – giving
and helping for instance. All of
the “prerequisites” can be demonstrated, and that means far more than just
“lip service”. Not that
verbally affirming your goals and ideals isn’t good too – but it isn’t
enough. And none of you are really
going to make a big dent in spiritual growth, until you “get” those
prerequisites.
MASTERING YOUR "PHYSICAL AFFAIRS" BEFORE YOU CAN
MASTER SPIRITUAL AFFAIRS
The following is NOT addressed to those who are truly
trapped by circumstances. There are
those in the world, who just can’t make a good living by honest means, because
of severe disability, third world situations, or other factors.
In fact, there are people who’d be thrilled just to be able to raise
enough food to feed themselves or their families.
There are increasing numbers of family farmers who lose their farms after
generations of working the land, and they work 16 hour or more days.
That’s just ONE reason we are giving so much priority to the world food
project – we know there are sustainable, low energy, fruitful methods for crop
production, even in hostile environments, but we have to prove it, and get
donations and grants for the educational support of others who need it. But like I said, it’s just ONE reason. Take my word for it folks – a food crisis, and the
ramifications of that, will be impacting all of you very intensely one day (if
you don’t die some other way first).
When I first re-learned the next concept (in this life), I
was asking Zain about what we called “single brothers” at our US monastery
which was more open to the public and "new" monks. Single
brothers were guys who were a bit sloppy, lazy, irresponsible, “spacey”,
etc. - you know, the type that most women don't want to date, let alone
get attached to - thus the word "single". Interestingly,
"single brothers" seemed to make little spiritual headway also. They
also tended to “sleep in” rather than getting up promptly for yoga or early
morning meditations. Father said their overall condition, and spiritual condition,
involved being so lazy as to not even have their Earthly affairs in order – he
said having the basic physical aspects of your life together/mastered, was a
prerequisite to getting your spiritual affairs in order, and making real
spiritual growth progress. It's
so true, and being a teacher once again myself, I see it all the time, and
remember lifetimes of seeing it.
Mastering your Earthly physical affairs doesn't mean making
millions, driving a BMW etc. But it does mean having enough drive to keep
yourself and your dwelling clean, hold down a job, pay your bills, take care of
your family if you have one, etc. - you know, basic adult responsibility
stuff. You see, the spiritual path, and the demands it makes on a
person’s use of free will, discipline, and personal sacrifice are so extreme,
no one can expect to really walk a spiritual path, and achieve spiritual growth,
if they haven’t even mastered that basic discipline of making a living,
keeping clean clothes, etc.. If
they are so lazy, undisciplined, or uncaring that they don’t even survive in a
physically decent manner, how can they progress in something far more difficult,
such as the sacrifice and self-discipline required by true spiritual growth?
It’s very true. Of course, that doesn’t apply to those who are destitute
because of legitimate reasons beyond their control (although there is still
karma involved in that one - but that's another issue).
But as we speak, even in this dim economic environment, in the “Western
world” at least, and many Eastern or third world counties, there is ample
opportunity to shape one’s life into anything you choose, and no excuse to be
“poor” (unless you have taken a vow of poverty deliberately, or there are
true extenuating circumstances). People
can use “green energy” to further spiritual causes, and there is no excuse
not to maximize that potential. And
if you have taken a vow of poverty because of laziness, not idealistic devotion,
that is unacceptable (of course, you wouldn't likely have a computer or be in
touch with us if that were the case).
GIVING
The change from a selfish separate self, to an unselfishly
loving enlightened being, is a 180 degree, total turnaround. It is
changing from a consciousness and way of living that is "take"
oriented, constantly wanting and seeing everything in the light of "how
does this impact me", and making your self look good, to a consciousness
and way of living that is "give" oriented, constantly wanting and
seeing everything in the light of "how does this effect them", and not
caring how you appear to others. That also obviously involves changing from
working hard and hustling for your self (or being lazy), to being the hardest
worker anyone's ever seen, for others, and your own spiritual growth.
There is much about this in the "Lost Teachings of
Atlantis" book, so I'll try to give specifics. Even if you get to the
point where you really want to give, and think of others all the time, until you
are enlightened and just a channel for decisions made by the hierarchy/Universal
Spirit, you can give in ways that are detrimental to others. And again,
being a giving person doesn't mean being a doormat or "nice" all the
time. Giving to others for their spiritual growth for instance, as
described above, can be very intense and seem harsh - but if that's what they
need, you have to do it if you care about them, even if they or others judge you
as being cruel and not spiritual. But you must be of the right
consciousness, and coming from the right place.
So what do you do until you are in the right place?
Well, if you are dealing with relationship matters, do the best you can, and ask
guidance from unbiased counselors if you can. The Golden Rule workbook has some
good things you can practice at home also. If you are dealing with
asset issues, or helping others financially, again, either get guidance from
someone you believe to be coming from the right place, or give to those who you
know are giving under the guidance of Universal Will.
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