by Jeffery Tye
BACKGROUND:
The intent of Tantric/Sacred Sexuality is to experience and merge
with the Divine (God/Goddess/All-That-Is) using sexual energy
as the fuel or vehicle. Sexual energy is the most powerful force
within the human body and can lead to profound spiritual experiences
accompanied by intense physical pleasure and bliss. Tantrikas use
their sexual energy with awareness, love and respect, for themselves
and their partner.
Tantra views everything as energy, vibrating at different rates and
manifesting in a myriad of ways (e.g., matter, space, time,
forces, people, animals, objects, etc.). Harmony and peace are
the result of energies being in balance -- life flows without
restriction. Often, due to various reasons, the energies that make up
the human body become unbalanced. This results in ill health,
sleeplessness, sluggishness, pain, distraction, and many other
unwanted conditions including unsatisfactory sexual performance.
The goal of the Tantric Polarity Process is to bring the body into
a balanced state before engaging in sexual activity. The benefits are
many, including deep relaxation (important for Tantric
High-Sex), heightened sexual response and better health. The
process builds trust and intimacy between partners, and is easy to
do.
From the Tantric/Yogic perspective there are many energy centers in
the body. The seven primary psychoenergetic vortices are referred to
as Chakras (loosely translated as "Wheels of Light"), each
having a specific function in the body. The most important one is the
Heart Chakra. There are three Chakras above and three Chakras below
the Heart Chakra. The upper three have to do with intellect and
spirituality. The three lower Chakras deal with base human needs and
emotions. The Heart Chakra balances the Spirit with the flesh. This
Chakra is the seat of unconditional love and divine grace.
(If you aren't already aware of these energy centers or for
more detailed information, I suggest you acquire one of the many
excellent books about the Chakras and Yogic philosophy. Meta- physical
bookstores are a reliable source for these books. "Wheels of Light" by
Anodea is one title to check out.)
PROCEDURE:
Allow 45 minutes for this process. Each step takes about 5 minutes.
Allow yourself to relax and take your time. Deep belly breathing helps
with relaxation. A shower or bath is recommended before this
process.
The receiver is to relax, breathe deeply and receive. The giver is
to be of service to their partner. This is an intimate process done
with love and respect. The giver will be placing their hands on
various parts of the receiver's body. This is done SLOWLY, with
awareness, avoiding jerky movements.
The receiver is to be naked, laying flat on their back, with legs
flat and spread comfortably apart. A rolled up towel or pillow can be
placed under the neck for comfort. The receiver may become cold during
the process and they may want to have a light blanket or sheet placed
over their body.
The giver is to sit cross legged, on the RIGHT side of the
receiver, with knees barely touching the receiver's body. The giver
orients themselves in such a way as to be able to reach the receiver's
genitals with the RIGHT hand and the top of the receiver's head with
the LEFT hand. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT for the giver to find a
comfortable position where they WILL NOT HAVE TO MOVE their body
during the process.
Both giver and receiver spend about 5 minutes focusing on deep,
relaxed breathing. THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT STEP. Begin each breath
with a relaxed belly. Let your thoughts and concerns fade away.
The GIVER rubs their hands together, creating heat. Shake the
hands, away from the receiver's body, and flick the fingers as if
energy were sparking off your fingers. Do this several times. Among
other things, this energizes your hands and prepares them for touching
the receiver's body.
The giver places their LEFT (negatively charged) hand,
gently, on the receivers Heart Chakra. This is located in the center
of the chest, between the nipples. You are touching the most intimate
and beautiful part of the receiver. This is their center and seat of
Divine essence. Become aware of their childlike innocence as your hand
rests here.
The giver places their RIGHT (positively charged) hand,
gently on the receivers Root Chakra. This is located between the anus
and genitals. It is clinically referred to as the Perineum. This is
the foundation of survival and human needs (food, shelter, money,
etc.). It is also the place where a powerful force
(Kundalini) emanates from.
The giver keeps their hands in place for 5 minutes. Just relax, keep
breathing deeply, and visualize powerful energies coming from the
earth and the universe, flowing through your body and streaming out
your hands into the receiver's body. Become aware of your healing
powers.
Keeping your LEFT hand on the receiver's heart, gently move your
RIGHT hand to their genitals. If the receiver is a woman, allow your
fingers to contact the clitoris and vulva. If the receiver is a man,
cup your hand over the testicles and penis (Lingam). This is
the seat of their sexual desire and procreative power. Keep your hands
in this position for 5 minutes. Occasionally, gently rock your RIGHT
hand to awaken this Chakra. The receiver will likely experience sexual
arousal. This indicates that energy is moving in the body.
Move your RIGHT hand to just below the receiver's navel, the center
of their personal power. Keep your LEFT hand on their heart Chakra. Do
this for 5 minutes.
You are balancing the lower Chakras, that deal with money, sex and
power issues, with their sacred center, the heart. You are bringing
infinite love and wisdom into their human life form.
Move your RIGHT hand on top of your LEFT hand. Keep both hands on
the receiver's heart for 5 minutes. Imagine all that you have to give,
as friend, healer and lover, flowing from your hands into their
heart.
Place your RIGHT hand on the receiver's heart and move your LEFT
hand to their throat. Be gentle, do not press down and just let your
hand rest gently on the throat Chakra . This is the source of their
creative expression and communication. Remain here for 5 minutes.
With the RIGHT hand in place on the receiver's heart, move the LEFT
hand to their forehead. This is the home of their intellect and
psychic powers. Remain at this center for 5 minutes.
Move the LEFT hand to the top or crown of the receiver's head.
Keep the RIGHT hand on their heart. The Crown Chakra is their
connecting point to the Divine and channels spiritual energy. Stay in
this position for 5 minutes.
Gently, slowly and with total awareness, remove your hands from the
receiver's body. At this point they will most likely be in a deeply
relaxed and highly sensitized state. Withdraw your hands in a manner
that they barely notice it. Slowly, silently, move your body away from
theirs and stand up. Walk away from them, shake your hands, and flick
your fingers again.
You may leave them in this state (lucid dreaming or
meditative) or you can begin another sexual activity. The Lingam
Massage or Yoni Massage is most effective after this
process. Foreplay, including cunnilingus or fellatio, works very well,
as the receiver is in a heightened state of responsiveness at this
point. Have fun!
My wife and I have practiced Tantra/Sacred Sex for several years
and have received much joy from the techniques and processes. One of
my wife's favorite and frequently requested sexual activity is the
Yoni Massage. It has greatly expanded our sex life, brought us closer
and has given me a greater appreciation of women. We've taught the
technique to many of our friends and they too have enjoyed good
results from it. I offer it here and hope it enhances your sex
life. Enjoy.
BACKGROUND INFO:
Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina
that is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." It's
meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of
the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which
may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their
usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love
and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the woman
(the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal
and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the
giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a
special moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer
sex (when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity
to build trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to
assist women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a
pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure and
massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver
can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When
orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more
satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return.
Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself
afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should
be entirely the receiver's choice. This perspective will build greater
intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual horizons.
PREPARATION:
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and
giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles,
pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel
safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the
process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will avoid
the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the
bathroom.
Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking
into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings
you to a place of safety and relaxation.
PROCEDURE:
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so
she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner
(giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her
hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent
(pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her
genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver
may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full
access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply,
slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will
gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver
stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not
hyperventilating, is very important here.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the
receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the
Yoni.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the
mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer
lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual
lubricants are available for this. Pathways To Eden Good Vibration Sensual Adult Store offer these safe lubricants. My favorite is ForPlay Sensual Lubricant.)
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend
some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage.
Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and
slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to
the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and
continue breathing deeply.
It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes
as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure,
speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your
speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my
experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and
diminishes the effects.)
Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise
circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as
a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will
undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just
relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right
hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as
opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra.). Very
gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this
finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways.
Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and
you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni,
move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back towards
the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the
pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the
sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into detail
about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to
urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure,
speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and
forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the
finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Check with your
partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most women should
have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two
fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of
the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.
An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of
the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your
pinky into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use
lubrication and be very gentle.
(In Tantra, it is said that
when your pinky is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in
her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on her clitoris, "You are holding one
of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.")
So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to
massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the
clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion,
with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The
dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure
for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch
your own genitals because it may take your focus off the
receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of the
benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as
well.
Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions.
Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She may have
powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be
gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A
giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if
she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In
Tantra this is called "riding the wave." Many women can learn how to
be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient
partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently,
and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and
enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very
soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex
life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about
feminine sexuality.
There is a similar massage for men called the Lingam Massage.
Lingam is a Sanskrit word for the penis that means, "Wand of Light."
I will post it some other time.
BACKGROUND INFO:
The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam
(pronounced LING-AHM, [LING rhymes with sing]) and is loosely
translated as "Wand of Light." It's meaning is different in intention
from the typical Western view of the penis (i.e., Cock, Prick,
Dong, Dick, etc., words that may come from a limited perspective,
depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra/Sacred
Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored,
a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and
pleasure.
The purpose of the Lingam Massage is to create a space the receiver
to relax, and receive expanded pleasure from his Lingam. His partner
(the giver) experiences the joy of facilitating and
witnessing the man surrendering to his softer, gentler side. The
Lingam Massage can be used as a form of safer sex (when latex
gloves are used) and is an excellent process to build trust and
intimacy. It is often used to help men heal from negative sexual
conditioning and trauma.
Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it is often a
pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam,
also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (the equivalent
to the female G-spot), and allow the man to surrender to a form
of pleasure he may not be used to. From this perspective both receiver
and giver relax into the massage.
Men need to learn to RELAX and RECEIVE. Traditional sexual
conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam
Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side
and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.
PREPARATION:
Take a relaxing bath or shower. Take your time and breathe deeply.
Conscious, relaxed breathing will take you out of your mental process
and will get you more into your feelings. Relax your belly and let go
of the tension that most of us hold there.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
occur when the bowels and bladder are empty.
Let go of your thoughts and connect with your partner through
hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other's eyes for
an extended time), bringing both of you to a place of relaxation
and trust.
PROCEDURE:
Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he
can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered
with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the
knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also
help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get
the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to
sink deeper into relaxation.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil (or water-based
lubricant when using latex gloves) on the shaft of the Lingam and
testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not
cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing
it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone.
Massage the Perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take
your time. You are giving a massage to an often neglected area of the
body.
Massage the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure.
Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull UP
and slide off and then alternate with your left hand. Take your time
doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction
by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam/penis and then
sliding DOWN and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.
Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange
juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are
many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the
body. It is said many ailments can be cured by receiving a good
Lingam Massage.
NOTE: The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this
technique. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. You will
probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again,
etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a
wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and Softness are two ends of the
pleasure spectrum.
If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off,
allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do
this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off.
Remember, the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the
art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation
and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here
and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery
will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become
multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation
are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result
is a very expanded sex life.
Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There are two ways to do
this.
One is by finding the spot midway between the testicles and anus.
There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger.
Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and
it may be intensely painful at first. Eventually, as this area is
worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and
master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right
hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. Try pushing in
on this spot when he nears ejaculation. It is aptly named the Million
Dollar Point in Taoism.
The other way to access the Sacred Spot is through the anus. Many
men, especially heterosexual men, are uncomfortable at first as a
result of negative sexual conditioning. Be careful here and use
lubrication. The key is to go slow and be very gentle. Make sure he is
breathing as you slip a finger from your left hand into the anus about
an inch or so. Then crook the finger back in a "come here"
gesture. You will feel the prostate gland. Vary the pressure and speed
of massage. He may want stimulation of the Lingam as you massage the
Sacred Spot. Back off on the Lingam as he approaches orgasm and
increase the pressure on the Sacred Spot.
Sometimes the man may have strong emotions come up during access to
the Sacred Spot. He may cry and remember a traumatic event from his
past. You, the giver, are in a place of trust and intimacy. Allow him
to feel his emotions and be very loving, not trying to console or fix
him, just let him feel whatever he needs to. Encourage him to scream,
cry, moan, sob, if it feels appropriate. Be the best friend and healer
he could have in that moment.
ENDING THE MASSAGE:
If he chooses to let go and ejaculate, encourage him to breathe
deeply during the orgasm. It will blow his mind, especially if he has
come close and held back at least SIX times before
ejaculating. Holding back six times charges up the sexual battery with
tremendous energy. It is then his choice as to where he wants to send
this energy -- out with their ejaculate (the prevailing
paradigm) or inward for other uses (men who master
ejaculation are able to channel this energy into other areas of their
being).
When he feels complete with the massage gently remove your hands
and allow him to lie there quietly. You may want to snuggle up
together or you can leave the room and let him drift off into a
meditative state. Allow him to fully experience his childlike
innocence and magnificent male beauty.
Have fun with this technique and share it with your friends and
loved ones.
Namaste,
Jeffery
Also read Developmental Techniques for Tantra/Sex Magic
Tantra
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This is one of the best general introductions to Tantra that we've seen. It features some of the most noted Tantra teachers and authors in North America: Margo Anand, Lori Grace, Charles & Caroline Muir. There are excellent examples of techniques demonstrated by "real people" who are also master Tantra practitioners.
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